Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
