New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
