we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are we still banned from the library?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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