she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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