some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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