it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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