Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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