I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
