I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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