Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
