He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
