Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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