Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
