Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
