Too much gin, very little bucket
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
