Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
