i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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