I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.