i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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