i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This girl is more easily done than said...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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