I will die if light touches me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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