They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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