I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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