The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
