Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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