please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize