u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
