Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
