so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
