1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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