I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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