The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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