I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
