An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize