Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
