By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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