You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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