Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
