i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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