DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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