"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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