Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
