I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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