what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
