if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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