what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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