You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
