I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
