woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's shark week go big or go home
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
