My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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