drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
