K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You ruined the universe
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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