It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Im part way to drunk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The adults are the big ones right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
