you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
