My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
