I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize