There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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