I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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