you would pick up someone in the library
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
