You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
