I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
