i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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