Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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