i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
