You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
