You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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