I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm too high and old for this...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
