And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
